Update

Not really a whole lot going on right now.

I'm just existing if I'm being honest. I got divorced in April, that's been a hell of a thing. Would not recommend it! It's been a real learning experience. I've been taking a lot of steps to improve my life so there's that. I'm not entirely sure what my future looks like but I think I'll be able to sort out financial things. I've been very thankful to have the support from so many people on Twitter (or 𝕏 as it's now called)

My X account is DarkRazorZ. I also have Threads (same handle) and Bluesky (same handle) but I don't think I'll really be using those. I still post quite a bit on Twitter. 

Otherwise I don't really know what to say. It's been interesting meeting new people and connecting with some old mutuals. I'm mostly just kinda lonely and bored these days so that's why I'm on Twitter so much. 

Despite a lot of things going on my life I still have free time and the urge to post. I'll probably be posting forever honestly haha. 

So yeah, fixing my finances. Working on my mental health. I struggled with addiction for a long time and I have been thankful to survive through that. I still struggle with depression though. So... I'll continue working on those. I have a lot of anxiety about where I'll end up. I turned 30 last month, which is super lame, but I will be getting back into a routine, employment and probably finding a place again. The thing is, I REALLY don't want to stay in California. It's just so hard to plan when you've spent the past 10 years living with somebody and have been that way your entire adult life. 

It's like... where am I going to go, what am I going to do long term because will I find somebody else again? I'd have to change everything. 

Anyway, if you've read this: thank you and God bless.

1989 TV next month, absolutely wild

I Don't Even Know What To Do

Seems like my whole life is falling apart right now

It's crazy

I have been fighting to keep everything together for as long as I possibly could. Things just continue to get worse and it's like I'm in a battle of my own with no help or support. It sucks. I understand why things are the way they are though. I've burned far too many bridges and that's why I'm in the position that I'm in. I have a lot of things I need to do and a lot of things I wish to do and I have no idea where life will take me but I will figure it out.

It's weird, I never thought I'd have to go through a divorce. I'm struggling with a lot of mental health issues and I understand why things have to end up the way they did. I do think I'm alright, I'm figuring out life, I just need to figure out how to move forward in a positive way.

It's like I'm starting all over again but with nothing to help me but my experiences and knowledge. It's weird. I wish people would understand that I've just been going through some shit and I'm not normally as crazy or weird as I come across. A lot of things were just for attention.

But it's whatever. I don't know how you're supposed to fix your reputation, if you even can.

People will think all sorts of things about you and truthfully anything you say and do even when you are under extreme stress or impaired otherwise will follow you forever as long as people remember.

And I know I've said and done some crazy and wild shit over the past few years so it's no wonder I've ended up in the situation that I'm in

However, I continue to believe in God and continue to move forward any way I can

I hope life gets better

Switching to Blogger

I'm working on trying to use Blogger right now instead of the other platform I was using. I realized it was not a good use of money to continue using the website services that I was using so a cheaper option is to just link to Blogger and embed it on my website. I know I did not get that much engagement, however, I want to still talk about random things in the future. This post right now is more or less just a test to see how it all displays on my website and to see if I can implement some kind of RSS feed or something to post updates to the homepage. I'm using really simple website building services right now. I'm starting over from scratch. It's incredibly cheap and I'm doing it for fun, so don't mind me lol.

I'm not entirely sure what topics I'll be covering or when I'll actually start fully blogging. Right now, I'm currently going through a lot in life and it's helping me to sit down and write things out on various mediums.

Here you can find my Twitter: @ZrozaRkraD

If you happen to randomly stumble across this, please engage with me on there. I love the conversation.